Ordinary Eve
"If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?" 1 John
We have had three children within a space of 18 months - an NO, it definitely wasn't planned that way. They say that the best things in life are the ones that take you by surprise and also that good things come in threes.
As I am dealing with icecube tray upon icecube tray of protein rich ingredients as quickly as clearing up the shit (literally), I strive to show my face to the bright side of life. Actually, it's not that difficult. Kids are great to have around. Not only have they fulfiled an ego trip by their (real or imagined) reflection of our genes, they have brought happiness, innocence and excitement into our home.
One of the things I find most striking about toddlers is their natural instinct to include those around them, perhaps because of their innocence. All three children were in the bath together this evening and the twins were singing Happy Birthday To You. The Birthday Boy or Girl was unidentified but they had filled beakers with water which were, apparently, birthday candles. When I asked them who was coming to the birthday party, they reeled off their friends' names: Luke, Charlotte, William -the Priest!
As adults, we often avoid or neglect those we have decided aren't really to our liking and don't see the ones we are prepared to like nearly often enough amidst the apparent sprint to the "retirement" line of life. How many times have I been asked whether Daddy, Grandpa, Edyta, Sam, Rory et al (whose distances from our house range from 2 miles to 3000!) are coming when I announce that we are going to the playground this afternoon? The spirit of inclusion is constant at this age. Often I walk past the twins' bedroom door ten minutes after having put them to bed and listen to the nightly and often tuneful ritual: "God Bless Oliver, God Bless Clarissa, God Bless Hugo, God Bless Mummy,Daddy, Grandma. Funnily my own nightly prayers often take on the form I developed before the age of 10 and, this way, no one gets left out!
Of course, children aren't always the icon of charitable behaviour. At toddler age, the laws of nature assert themselves, so BIG and STRONG always win. Little Hugo is often the brunt of aggressive behaviour. If the reigning mood is boredom then what better than to swipe the toy hammer which has been engrossing his attention for at least five minutes from Hugo's hands. Tears are bound to start flowing and the twins are guaranteed the desired reaction from Mummy. Whether you blow hot or cold, any reaction is good as far as toddlers are concerned.
The fast changing dynamic between naughty behaviour and sweetness and light is a wearing experience. One minute your head temperature is burning in the rage zone as a spoon has been hurled for the fifth time across the table and onto the floor only to feel melted he next moment when the same perpetrator of pain goes to fetch soft toys for little brother to play with. But there is no doubt that, fundamentally, children are gregarious. The desire to go to playgroup, music class, have friends round for lunch or tea comes down to an eagerness to explore the environment using friends as the tool for learning. Children embrace everything around them and although they are afraid of monsters or bad wolves which may harm them, you can be sure that their birthday party invitation list would have no end to it if they could have it their way!
So putting aside the growing pains in children's behaviour, perhaps we can use their example of human or fluffy toy inclusion to better our own behaviour. Like little children, perhaps we can find security in loving more people rather than a select few.
