Ordinary Eve
Basic Instinct
I don’t know about you but, like it or not, I have a little list in my head of the dream person I would spend my life with - Christian, clever, interested in music, likes tomato ketchup (all of which is classified information, just between you and me!). That’s the way my intellect approaches the situation of being single. The qualities, experiences and approach to life that I think would be right for me. And when I meet people who have some or all of these qualities I am interested – I can’t help it!
True to type
Then there is the kind of man that is generally “my type” – ginger hair (don’t laugh) or no hair at all, broad shoulders, a thick neck or sometimes a skinny frame. That’s the way my body approaches the situation of being single. These are the triggers for physical attraction that have been hard-wired into me by a God with (I sometimes think) little compassion and a sense of humour! When I see someone like that I am interested – I can’t help it!
Brains v brawn
And there is nothing wrong with either being driven by your intellect or by your body – after all, that’s how God made us. He gave us a brain and a body, making us dependent on and formed by our physiology. And often it’s good that we are ruled by our head or our body. We may need our head to get us to the right places to meet the man or woman that will fit our needs for instance there is no point in looking for your life partner at a Death Metal gig – well not if you are a Christian anyway. We may need our body to override the foolish dictation of our head and lead us into something wonderful that we would never have considered if we had looked at a person’s “credentials” on paper.
Method of Modern Love
In the modern world of which we are all a part, it is easy to understand these two drivers and for us to understand how God might use them to manoeuvre us into the right relationships on our journey. But there is another God-given tool that we need to learn to use which doesn’t sit so easily with our scientific head and sometimes with our religious head.
Ever been on a couple of dates with an attractive man who seems to tick a good amount of your hopes for a partner and still felt wrong about the situation? Found it hard to make the decision not to see them again or conversely to see them again? It’s happened to me all too often and I often pray about it at great length – wondering why I get no answer from God.
You may have got there before me, but in actual fact the answer from God has already been given. My instincts are going against both my head and my body to direct me into a course of action that might make no sense to anyone but myself - and God.
Discernment
We spend a lot of time worrying about what God wants for us and rightly using our head and our senses to work out his will – particularly in the area of relationships. Don’t forget that God made all of you, every bit. Instincts aren’t understood quite as clearly by science and therefore take second-class place in our life-navigation toolset. But if God can speak to you through the mouths of friends, the music of a hymn, words written to a congregation in Ephesus 2000 years ago he can probably speak to you through your gut reactions to people and situations.
There is a caveat here. Look back over your life and try to remember your instinctive reactions to situations and people. How often were you right in your initial, instinctive judgement? If you can honestly look back and say that you were right most of the time – whether you acted on it or not - then think carefully about embracing your instinct as a way of understanding God’s purposes for you.
If you have not the first idea what your instincts were then don’t write it off, just start looking inside you to see if you have those instinctive reactions in situations where you are asking for God’s help.
Finally, if you need a more scientific approach to the correctness of instinct read Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. It will make you think if nothing else!
Katie Streten
