Ordinary Eve
Summertime Blues
I'm a gonna raise a fuss, I'm a gonna raise a holla, but unlike the marvellous 50s singer Eddie Cochrane it won't be about working all summer, it'll be about the fact that summer and sun, far from bringing fun, bring yet more pressure for the single gal.
Two blues
Now I don't want to discriminate against the single guy, but I think that summer is far tougher for females than males. In fact the very things that men enjoy are the things that drive women into depressions. The two things the are looming large for me are (in no particular order):-
- cool girls
- weddings
Everywhere I go - grubby festivals, open air evening soirees, afternoon picnic parties - there are cool girls looking pretty and usually on the arm of some gorgeous hunk or interesting-looking waif, that bring back to me just how single (and sweaty) I am.
Going to the chapel
And then there are weddings. Yes I love them, I love the romance, the partying. I love the fact that two people I love have the confidence to make a public declaration in the sight of God, I even love the family atmosphere - particularly if it's not my family.But I don't love the fact that I am yet another church, watching yet another happy couple move on out from the harbour of singledom leaving me behind. In fact you may notice I have started to sound a little like the Grumpy Old Woman and it strikes me that that's where I am headed if I don't watch out.
Envy
Yes, my friends, I am suffering from the deadly sin known as Envy. I wish I had what they have, I covet it. I don't actually want my neighbours donkey, sorry, husband. But I do want a husband off my own - or at the very least that cool girl's sense of style to give me a little more confidence.
Am I alone? I don't think so. I have discussed it with my single friends and it's clear they are suffering from the same affliction. That makes it more bearable, but it doesn't make it right. It's destructive. It makes it more difficult to feel happy for others because I'm focusing on my self and what I don't have instead of enjoying those things I do have....like a great job, social life that is so busy that I have to schedule in diary time to just sit at home and write confessional articles for you lot. Things I have been told some of my friends are envious about themselves...sometimes friends with husbands. You know what they say about the grass...
Not helpful
No, I know it isn't helpful that other people are suffering from envy too. So how can we deal with this, nip it in the bud before it gets us totally self-obsessed and gets in the way of our relationship with God?
Well, what is your envy telling you? Seems basic but it's telling you what you want. The things that you are envious about reveal your innermost desires. And sometimes what you think you want and what you actually want are two different things. You might actually not be at all envious when you go to weddings. It doesn't mean you don't want to get married, but if you think that you want to get married and feel no sense of desire at all when you see those two gazing at each other like two calves gazing at the moon perhaps you are responding to society's agenda rather than God's agenda for your life right now.
You know I don't like to make you think to much, but actually looking at your envies and thinking about what they reveal can help you find out what God really wants for you.
Katie Streten
